Each bite contains the life of the sun and the earth

August 13, 2019

“May the food we are eating make us aware of the interconnections between the universe and us, the earth and us, and all other living species and us. Because each bite contains in itself the life of the sun and the earth, may we see the meaning and value of life from these precious morsels of food.” — ADAPTED FROM THICH NHAT HANH

From Ryan, M. J.. A Grateful Heart (p. 98). Red Wheel Weiser.

Lemon Balm herb in my garden, used in teas and tinctures for relaxation and anxiety reduction. And it’s delicious too.

Movin’ and Shakin’

There’s a whole lotta movin’ and shakin’ goin’ on.

Shaking

The ground of my being is shifting,
A seismology of change,
Quiescent for long periods
Though building power to insist
Upon expression.

As the plate of my past
Confronts the plate of my present
To produce the plate of my future,
Rumbling becomes eruption
Toward the surface of consciousness.

Control
Lies within hidden chambers
Invisible to detection.
Inexorable forces
Aeons in the making,
Now producing
Instant mountains.
- C. Scribner © 2/24/20

How, you might ask, did all this begin? Aeons ago, I answer. Before birth. Before consciousness. Before yesterday. There is only the sense that much of what I think I know is hidden from view. Glimpses of it are afforded to me within and after meditation, and in the process of allowing my fingers to produce words with hardly any effort.

Sometimes there is the sense of looking out through my eyes with the consciousness of my inner self, seeing the material world as the product of the implicit agreement of millions of selves who all want to think of the world as concrete and knowable.

Quantum physics tells us that there is no time and no space; everything is energy. What do we do with that? How can we understand our lives, and the necessity to go and get a quart of milk to have with lunch? The silence answers with a ringing in the ears, the gift of aeons of sensate humans who exist in time simultaneously with us, perhaps in other dimensions? There is much too much to consider consciously. Perhaps that is why just being aware of the need for a quart of milk is so comforting.

Compost takes the detritus of what is no longer needed and transmutes it into something that is nourishing, that will grow what is needed to sustain life. What a miracle, that waste begets growth. How similar to my life is this: that the detritus of my mistakes is fodder for growth. How efficient that nothing is wasted, not even waste.

And so here I am, the sum total of everything that has happened thus far in my life. Those things that I would change if I could; those mistakes that I am unable to rescind; all these I have needed to become who I am now. And I’ve discovered that the me who I am is okay. Or becoming okay, at least, in the process. Sometimes I get a glimmer, a shimmering glimpse, of the opposite of a shadow as it moves past me around the corner. This figure that others have told me I am. I know where she is: I’ve sensed her, within. When I speak with her, she tells me wonderful, wise things, and I know what she knows. Because I am she, who remains discoverable in the quiet times, when I can listen in meditation, and in prayer, I can hear the still, small voice that does not need volume to be heard.

Away from the traffic of the day, silence is full of meaning.

The eyes of now

Thoughts are illusory. Feelings are illusory. They have no substantiality, are fleeting and they pass away.

Today’s meditation is about the nature of feelings, that have power only when I allow it. Recalling a memory, I recognize that it exists only because of the power that I give it. If I allow it to pass through me and to continue on to wherever it goes, then it won’t reside in me. The clouds pass. Let it be.

I Feel It
I feel it
That panic,
Powerlessness,
Displaced wish to be compliant,
To obey.

And yet,
This is a moment
That also passes
Through me,
And continues
On:
To wherever
Insubstantial thoughts,
Experiences,
Feelings
Go.

There is no power
To change me,
To hold me,
To engage me,
That I do not allow.

My spirit is free
To decide to see
Through the eyes of now,
Where I am.
- C. Scribner © 1/24/20

Moving through the day, staying in the present, allowing the clouds of experience to move through, enables me to be a part of what is the ongoing nature of unreality. The place where I go when I go inside, where I am still me.

There is power in not holding on. Power to be the me who looks through the eyes of knowing, on a world that is entrenched within the bonds of inertia. Let me be free with the raven, to see, then to craft a way to make use of the “real” world for my use, to pluck shiny things to appreciate for a time, and then to fly off into to soar in the reaches of where the clouds pass by.

On Balance

Balance

Tipping on its axis and turning continually,
Creating winds that change weather around the world,
Spinning while traveling around the sun,
this planet is home.

Home to billions of conscious beings
Who all are in need of the same things:
Food, shelter, water, security and love.
How many are they who succeed in securing these things?

I am grateful for my life,
Graced with such gifts of nurturing,
That allow me to spend these moments in quiet reflection
Of all that my life has to offer.

Let me use these resources today
To make a difference
In the life of someone.

- C. Scribner © 1/27/20

Birthright 2

Birthright

Through the tunnel of my history,
Passing scenes along the path,
I wonder
Where is this journey taking me.

We all reach an end
On our own paths,
Directed by our own choices.

The inertia
That obtains
When I allow myself
To be directed by others
Leaves me powerless
To claim
The birthright
That is mine alone.

My own claim,
Like that of others’,
Is to be
Who I was meant to be.

May I see my way clear
To make daily decisions
That move me along the path
Toward
My birthright.

Today, then:
- Post to the blog
- Organize for tax filling
- See a doctor
- Make a Google docs file for all storytelling stories
- Organize my emergency files in the safe box
- Move money for paying property tax
- Take a look with Tirath at the choices for excursions on the cruise
- Contact Anna to let her know that I’m sick
- Look at Square Space
- Match.com
Yoga stretch

Today in February
One of my two least favorite months
Because the light is dim
The days short
I want to climb into my cave by myself
Is this why I get sick in these months?
Isolation?
- C. Scribner © 2/7/20

On Meeting Self

On Meeting HER

It was as if I’d known her
At some point,
Indistinct but somehow familiar,
Bearing an outline that I recognized
At some unrecognized level.

At once welcoming
And mysterious,
Knowing and powerful,
Here in a way that was unmistakable
The one who was always
And still is
Me.

That said
Finding her again
Released the fear of myself
That I didn’t know I had.
Loving yourself -
isn’t that what we’re told -
Is the goal

Before we can love others?
And here she is.
Accepting and deep
Aware that the me who I am
Is the same that she is.

Welcome home.
- C. Scribner © 2/7/20

On Connection

“Love is our true destiny. We do not find the meaning of life by ourselves alone - we find it with another.”
― Thomas Merton, Love and Living

When we’re told that we need to learn to love ourselves first before we can love another, we’re left to consider: how can we learn to love ourselves? I’m learning to love the self that is the inner me, who is always there, and who knows how to connect with the All. This Self, when expressed, is patient and kind. This Self puts aside “selfish” grasping, and learns to see others in a way that seeks to alleviate their suffering. We all suffer in the effort of being human.

And so, true belonging begins with belonging to myself. Loving and accepting that deepest, knowing part of me allows me to enter into relationships in an authentic way, from where I can truly be present for others.

B —Did I respect my own boundaries? Was I clear about what’s okay and what’s not okay?
R —Was I reliable? Did I do what I said I was going to do? A —Did I hold myself accountable?
V —Did I respect the vault [emotional privacy] and share appropriately?
I —Did I act from my integrity?
N —Did I ask for what I needed? Was I nonjudgmental about needing help?
G —Was I generous toward myself?
— p. 39, Brené Brown, Braving the Wilderness

“True belonging is the spiritual practice of believing in and belonging to yourself so deeply that you can share your most authentic self with the world and find sacredness in both being a part of something and standing alone in the wilderness. True belonging doesn’t require you to change who you are; it requires you to be who you are.” — Brené Brown, Braving the Wilderness

ON CONNECTION

From the inner me
To the inner you
This bond of being
Surrounds us with grace.
Within the circle of love
We know even before hearing
What moves us
What gives us pain
What brings joy.

Let us rest
Just for a few moments
In the knowing place
Where boundaries are immaterial,
Where we are free to be
You and me.
C. Scribner ©2/21/20